Sick

So I have been complaining that I can't focus...apparently its the curse of the wait list. Whatever it is I can't focus....

But now I am sick....I am so invested in this (like who isn't at this point?) and any not so positive information about the process makes me sick. So I hear alot of not so positive information throug the online forums that I belong to...yahoo groups, Holt groups, Ethiopia adoptoin groups, etc. Normally I just take it in and try to move on. I know that there is nothing predictable about international adoptoin. I knew this was going to be especially hard for me, a type A who likes to know about, control and fix everything. Here is the one time I am tried to my limits. Adopting a child from foreign country. Two legal processes, two governments, two very different cultures...faith in a process and an agency. Well initially I guess this didn't hit so hard...the whole lack of control thing. Because I could still control it at that point. The decisions I made about what country to adopt from (as if I can believe that that EVER was a decision), what agency to use, what social worker to go with, etc, etc. The effect of those decisions seemed so tagable back then. Our agency had its own orphanage, they are one of the most ethical agencies in existence, there concern is children and keeping families together, not finding children for adoptive parents...all things that are important to me. I just need to remember that those decisions, those acts of control are showing their worth now. So I did, so I DO have control.....

I found out that this week that the Ethiopian Court that hears all adoption cases (i.e. allows you to adopt a child from Ethiopia) has stopped hearing cases for children who were abandoned in the capitol city of Addis Ababa. The alert from the US Department of State is below:

Ethiopia Adoption Alert
U.S. DEPARTMENT OF STATE

Bureau of Consular AffairsOffice of Children’s Issues
May 13, 2009

Adoptions of Abandoned Children Halted by Ethiopian Court:

The Ethiopian First Instance Court has temporarily stopped accepting cases involving abandoned children from orphanages in Addis Ababa, citing concern over a recent increase in the number of abandoned children being brought for adoption. The number of abandoned children from orphanages in Addis Ababa has grown dramatically in recent months and Ethiopian authorities have become aware of possible cases of unethical practices associated with some of them.

Currently neither MOWA nor the First Instance Court are accepting any abandonment case from any orphanages in Addis Ababa pending an inquiry.

*As an FYI, abandoned children are those who are left on a doorstep, found on the street, etc. Different from Relinqished children where the parents or family members are present to give them up.

So while this news makes me sick for a number of reasons, the good news is that I made good decisions before we even started the process. Our Agency, Holt International is definitely a legitmate, ethical agency and there is no chance (I mean 100% no chance) that they would be involved in unethical practices such as those the courts are concerned with. In addition, Holt does not pull children from government or outside orphanages, they opened their own Holt run orphanage so they are in charge of the intake of children, caring for them, and matching them with families so ensures us that there are no outside entities who could be acting inappropriately. Finally, the Holt orphanage where they intake children is not in the capitol city of Addis Ababa. It is located about a 7 or 8 hr drive on dirt roads South West of the capitol in a village called Durame. What this means is that none of the Holt adoptions SHOULD be affected since the problem seems to only be occuring in the capitol city. The other positive is that yesterday, our agency had an abandonment case be approved through the ET court system....in the midst of all of this, none-the-less.

But what makes me sick...is that these type of corruption issues can be precursors to countries shutting down their adoption programs altogether. Not only would this mean starting the process all over again, but it is so much more than that for me now. As I said before, I am so invested. It is not just about adopting any more. It is this country, these children... I just don't know what I would do... I want to bring home a child from Ethiopia... maybe multiple children. To give them a home, a chance for life, a family, love. I know there are other countries and children in need... but I haven't yet connected to them in the way that I have to Ethiopia. I am scared to think of having to do that all over again. The emotional investment is HUGE. But larger ramifications of this (either some or all adoptions being shut down) are that there are needy children out there who will not get placed with loving families. That there are children and families possibly being torn apart due to corruption....it doesn't matter what it is...it all just makes me sick.

So normally I don't even post these type of things. This is, afterall, international adoption. Everything is an unknown... there are lots of rumors and facts going around that are not so pleasant. But...I am just so sick about this. I guess I just needed to talk about it. Well we are months and months away from even having to think about court. We won't be assigned a court date until a month or so after we get a referral (and we have AT LEAST 4 more months before we should even bother checking our email/phones for the referral call). Who knows what will happen in that time. This is, after all, international adoption.

Pray for these children...