Homestudy to Holt

So our homestudy is being emailed to Holt for their review and approval today! Yeah! Hopefully we will hear back from them soon this week and then next week we can get the final notarized copy state sealed and overnighted to Holt with the rest of our Dossier! Yeah! Then we are on the waiting list!!!!!! I can't believe how excited I am to wait!!!!!!

Confident and Secure

What do I want for my children? To enjoy life, have a roof over their heads, warm food in their bellies, enriching lives centered around their relationship with God, toys to play with, people to love them, a good education, FUN, rest, good friends, close family, a good job, good health, etc, etc...yes, I do want all of these things for my children but how do you parent to that long list?
So I think I read in some parenting book about disciplining along the way this whole concept. Really it talked about how when we discipline our children we want to make sure our discipline falls in line with what we really want for our children and that everything we do to parent them is aimed at the same consistent goals. In any case, when I really took the time to think about it, what I want for my daughter/children are two things, CONFIDENCE and SECURITY. I think the answer to the big list above rests in those things. If I can bring up a person who is confident and secure, they will have the tools to face whatever life throws at them. And by confident, I mean secure enough in who they are to be who they are. I feel like I was blessed with bits of both of these characteristics in my life and they have served me well. I know many who would have (and did) faltered without them. This is not to say that I have not faltered along the way either, but what has kept me afloat and really molded me into who I am today are those bits of confidence and security.
Fortunately for Jeff and I, we both know who we are and thrive in that. We don't feel pressured to be something we are not, we make friends easily, we love deeply, and don't feel the need to put on a false mask to the outside world. We are who we are, flawed AND perfect but (for the most part) okay with all of it. And so, if we can be the model of that for our children, and parent to them in that way, then I feel lucky.
What do you want for your children? Parent to that. Live like that.

Still Here

Yes...I am still here. Busy but here! I knew I wouldn't be great at this whole blog thing but I hope I can at least be somewhat consistent.
Soooo...the good news is our HomeStudy will be done this week. We will do a quick review and get it back to our SW (social worker) on Friday and then she will forward on to Holt (our Adoption Agency). Holt said they should be able to let her know of any needed changes within the week so I am still hoping that we will have our finalized, notarized, state sealed homestudy in our hands by the first of the week of April 6th! Yeah! As soon as we have it we are overnighting our entire Dossier to Holt!!!!!!!! Then we are going out for a celebratory dinner!

Its All a Wait

So we are totally done with our paperwork. We have been since the begining of March. The only thing we are waiting on is our Homestudy...so I guess that means that we aren't really done with our paperwork. The HomeStudy is a report written by a social work agency after a series of interviews and meetings that basically sums up that/why we are qualified to be adoptive parents, our parenting styles, family histories, health, etc, etc. So we have had all of our interviews for this one peice except the last one - which is where they actually come to your house and just to make sure you really do have enough bedrooms, that it is livable, etc. The problem we had with scheduling this last appointment (the only thing in the way from getting us on the official wait list) was a stupid clearance from the State of GA where I lived for 9 months right after college. The deal is that you have to get a clearance from every state you have lived in since you were 18 to make sure you haven't had any child welfare stuff on your record. The social work agency won't schedule that last HomeStudy appointment visit until all of these are in. Apparently GA changed their procedure so the first application and money order we sent went into some black hole somewhere and we were just waiting for nothing. The social work agency finally did some digging and we got it all straightened out and sent a new app and new money order overnight and finally a month after all the rest, my clearance came and we were able to schedule the visit. Crazy how just one little glitch can put you back a whole month. So anyway - our final interview/home visit is Wed! Yeah! Then it will take them a week or so to finish up the actual report, another week (hopefully) to get it approved by our Adoption Agency (to make sure it has the appropriate wording, etc) and then we will be oficially done with our paperchasing!!! Yeah!!!!! Have I said YEAHH yet? I am not in a rush, but I hate having things hanging over my head. So lets pray that by the end of March - okay April 1st, we are on the offical waiting list!!!
Okay - thought I would give a little detail about the process. Be thankful that I didn't start blogging when we first started all the paperwork. It is crazy!

So I feel the need to address the comment that "a family is whatever you want it to be." I by no means mean to trivialize the wonderful gifts of pregnancy or adoption. I also don't want to trivialize the meaning of my biological family to me (because with or without the same genes they are amazing and individual and all a huge important part of my life). But I do strongly believe that family is not about blood or genes. My genes are flawed as much as anyones but the idea that genetic makeup or heritage determine who we are and the gifts and struggles we each may have in life seems very narrow minded. I am who am by the free will God has given me and by the events and more importantly, the people who have shaped my life. I can't deny that genes play a role....but that is just it...they are just one small role in what makes us all who we are.

And so to say that your family is whatever you want it to be speaks more to the idea of marriage and free will or choice and love. My husband is my family...we don't share genes or childhoods or even the same political views but he is my family by choice. Our daughter, Tessa, is ours by choice and love...and (by chance) also by genes and blood.

If there is one thing I would like people to know about me it is how much I value family and relationships. As for the story of our family...I want people to know that it is love that makes it what it is. Love and the free will God has given us. Not the green eyes that Jeff and I have both inherited from our parents or grandparents or the blue green ones we passed on to our daughter. While they are asthetically beautiful, so are big brown ones that I could never pass on. What we can pass on are our values and love. In the end, it is not the beautiful big brown eyes, or the blue/green ones that give us happiness or success. It is a foundation of love that builds confidence and security. Confident and secure...another topic for another day. As well, the free will God has given us...remind me to say something about those as well.

What would this blog be without pictures of miss Tessa???

Apology

I forgot that I should probably start this whole thing off with an apology. I have no idea how to do this whole blog thing and I certainly don't know how to design a page that anyone would be interested in looking at. I guess this is just an outlet for me...I can't imagine anyone has any interest in my rantings. Hopefully though, I can put something together that is at least a little bit infomative so that all of our friends and family around the world can share in our lives. Back to trying to figure out how to customize this page so it doesn't look so ugly and boring!

And so we enter the modern age...

I guess it finally begins. Ha - yeah right! I guess the electronic portion of it begins is maybe a better way to say it! We started this process really so long ago...before we were even married perhaps. When our hearts opened to the possibility of of love, family, children, birth, adoption...
This blog is really the story of a family. Of one family. Of our family.
But as for the adoption part...that was even before we were married I suppose too. The reality of when it started is such an intangible thing. Maybe it began when we opened our hearts to the possibility of it someday way down the line when we were dating (yes we did talk adoption then). Maybe it began when we fell in love with our first child and loved her more than anything I could ever imagine (and trust me I can imagine a lot). Maybe it began when we started looking at and learning more about the adoption process over a year ago. Maybe it began when we started meeting with agencies. Maybe it began when we decided on international adoption over domestic. Maybe it began when we chose Ethiopia. Maybe it began when we chose Holt. Or maybe it began when we sent of our first application to Holt. Who knows...maybe it will begin when we meet the next piece of the puzzle that is our family.