So I feel the need to address the comment that "a family is whatever you want it to be." I by no means mean to trivialize the wonderful gifts of pregnancy or adoption. I also don't want to trivialize the meaning of my biological family to me (because with or without the same genes they are amazing and individual and all a huge important part of my life). But I do strongly believe that family is not about blood or genes. My genes are flawed as much as anyones but the idea that genetic makeup or heritage determine who we are and the gifts and struggles we each may have in life seems very narrow minded. I am who am by the free will God has given me and by the events and more importantly, the people who have shaped my life. I can't deny that genes play a role....but that is just it...they are just one small role in what makes us all who we are.

And so to say that your family is whatever you want it to be speaks more to the idea of marriage and free will or choice and love. My husband is my family...we don't share genes or childhoods or even the same political views but he is my family by choice. Our daughter, Tessa, is ours by choice and love...and (by chance) also by genes and blood.

If there is one thing I would like people to know about me it is how much I value family and relationships. As for the story of our family...I want people to know that it is love that makes it what it is. Love and the free will God has given us. Not the green eyes that Jeff and I have both inherited from our parents or grandparents or the blue green ones we passed on to our daughter. While they are asthetically beautiful, so are big brown ones that I could never pass on. What we can pass on are our values and love. In the end, it is not the beautiful big brown eyes, or the blue/green ones that give us happiness or success. It is a foundation of love that builds confidence and security. Confident and secure...another topic for another day. As well, the free will God has given us...remind me to say something about those as well.