Cullen is doing great!

Brooke and Jeff just called and said they now have Cullen full time in their hotel with them! We got to hear him say "dad" on the phone! He was talking up a storm and Brooke said he is now sitting up by himself too! Brooke said he has a nasty cough but is still doing well despite that. They said in their first night with him he woke up twice. They have been giving him some dry cereal and bananas. Today they passed their visa interview so they are just waiting for the paper copy to arrive before they can come home!

HERE HE IS!!!

Just got a call from Brooke and Jeff and they were able to get internet briefly and sent this great photo! They got to spend more time with Cullen today and kept saying how animated he is. They said he loves to mimic people and will clap hands after you clap yours and do raspberries! Brooke and Jeff also commented that he really gets excited when he sees his nannies and they get so excited when they see him! Brooke said he can also say "mom" and "dad!" They said he has beautiful skin and weighs 9.8 kilos (21 lbs)!!!

The Best Christmas Gift!

Brooke and Jeff got to meet Cullen very early this morning! They said he is so happy and only cried once when they had to put him down! They said he is so big and can even do an army crawl! Brooke said that when he would get excited about something he would clap his hands on his legs! They also said that he seems to be very observant (like his big sister!). They both seemed so happy to have spent some cuddle time with their new squeeze!

Safe and Sound!

Brooke and Jeff have arrived safely to their hotel in Addis Ababa! Their hotel is right next door to where Cullen is staying! They will meet their little man at 10am their time (2am Christmas morning on East Coast US time)!

On Their Way!!!

This is Becca (Brooke's sister) and I'll be updating their blog with the text messages and phone calls that Brooke and Jeff send over the next week!

At about 10am we got word that they made it safely through Amsterdam and are now in Sudan for a quick refuel before they finish the last leg of their flight! Only about 2 more hours of travel for them before they arrive in Addis!

What Will We Be Doing?

So I thought I would share a bit of our "itinerary" with everyone so you can have a better idea of what we will be doing when we are in Ethiopia. Keep in mind that ET is approx 7 hours ahead of Eastern Time. Here it is:

• Wed 12/23: Leave for ET in the evening.
• Thurs 12/24: Arrive in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia around 11pm. Check in to hotel which is right next door to care center (literally) where Cullen is. Sleep (I have no idea how i am going to do this with my little boy asleep right next door!!!
• Friday 12/25: Orientation in AM then will meet Cullen right after! Spend day at care center with Cullen and playing with other children
• Saturday 12/26: Spend day at care center with Cullen.
• Sunday 12/27: Leave in the AM for Durame (without Cullen), a town about 5-6 hour drive south of the capitol of Addis Ababa. This is the region where Cullen was born and where he first came into care (Holt has a care center in Duram). We will get to see the region, tour Holts intake/care center in Durame and possibly get to meet Cullen's mom.
• Monday 12/28: Leave in AM to head back to Addis. Hopefully take custody of Cullen when we get back (if not then on Tuesday)
• Tuesday 12/29: Hang out in hotel with Cullen. Appointment at US Embassy in Addis for an interview to get Cullens visa to travel home (he will travel home with an ET passport and a US visa).
• Wednesday 12/30: Fairwell ceremony at care center. Shopping trip to leper hospital, etc.
• Thursday 12/31: Hang out at hotel with Cullen and wait for visa to be issued. Fly home around midnight.
• Friday 1/1: Arrive home in Boston at 4pm!!!!

We are very excited to meet a number of families that will be traveling with us. I have gotten to know a few pretty well over email, yahoo groups, and on the phone so it will be great to share this amazing experience with them.

Can't wait to see you all when we return!!! Just over 48 hours till we leave....YIKES! I need to get some good cuddle time in with my girl the next two days....

Ahhh...the packing!!!

Okay so I typed this up yest but am just gettting it posted today...just goes to show you what I am talking about!!!...

Last night was our last Wednesday night sleeping in this house together as a family of three! Next Wednesday at this time will will be on a plane bound for Amsterdam, to connect on to

Addis Ababa, Ethiopia.

It really is all a little bittersweet. While I am so excited to finally meet our son and bring him home, I am so sad to be away from Tessa and especially during this holiday time. I wish that it made the least bit of sense for her to come with us. But it doesn't.

So as you all know, we have been busy packing!! Two huge bags of donations for the care center's run by Holt! (Thank you to all who so generously donated clothing, medications, toys, cups, bottles, blankets, etc) And one suitcase a piece for Jeff, Cullen and I! Here is peek at what life has looked like around our house these past days. I feel good...but I still feel like there is so much to do. Today, Jeff and I finished up gathering some paperwork, getting notarizations, etc. So at least that piece feels complete. And then there has been the wrapping! Wrapping, wrapping and more wrapping.... To think we won't even be here for Christmas day!!! Well, here it all is:

Just a little of our packing mess....

Adams Family Christmas gifts...

Drooger family Christmas gifts...

And still I am trying to constantly remind myself of the reason for this time of holiday celebration. The birth of Christ. A baby in a manger sent by his father. The most amazing gift...

Cullen's Room

So I think I have been promising photos of Cullen's room. There are still a few things to complete...but I thought I would share since we finally took some photos. Here it is....

My mom made the wall hanging quilt.

We hired my friend Alicia to design the elephants (which are also used in the quilt) and then paint them in the room.

Now all we need is a little boy asleep in the crib!

Ethiopia Here We Come!!!!!

And so we are finally leaving for Ethiopia!!! On Dec 23rd we will fly out from Boston to arrive in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia at around 11pm on Christmas Eve! We will get to meet our son for the first time on Christmas day!! What an amazing gift!!!!

We are so saddened to leave miss Tessa behind. For so many reasons I want to bring her with us (including but not limited to fulfilling the ache in my heart that I will have from being away from her for 10 days). But we know it is in her best interest to stay home with GeeGee and Papa (my parents). Fortunately she is so comfortable with them since my mom watches her during the week as my husband and I both work full time. And she is OBSESSED to say the least with my father. While we are more sad over the fact that we will not be with her for Christmas day, the fact that we are traveling over the holiday's means that my sister (Auntie Becca) will be home and my brother, his wife and Tessa's two cousins (Eli - 6 and Sarah - 4) whom she is again OBSESSSED with will all be here while we are gone. I am actaully starting to wonder if she will notice that we are gone at all!!!

As for us....YIKES! We are so busy packing and preparing. I wish it was just clothes we needed to pack. But we have medications, bottles, baby food, clothes, paperwork, mosquito nets, etc. Then there is packing we will have to do for Tess. Since she will be at my parents house for 10 days, we will need all her clothes, etc. We also have one gift a day for her with a note from mommy and daddy that we are getting ready as well. Then there is Christmas!!!! We wanted to keep this year as "normal" as possible for Tess while we are home, so we have been decorating, trimming the tree, wrapping gifts etc. It is my favorite time of year. And while I enjoy all the hub-ub, I have to admit. I can hardly keep my head on straight.

Will keep you posted over the next week and a half (I promise to try anyway)...but I can't believe how son I will finally be holding our son in my arms. I have cried and ached for way more months than I should have just to listen to him breathe in the monitor at night! And now I am finally going to be able to!!!!!!!

More to do. Back to work....

Thanksgiving

So we definitely had much to be thankful for this Thanksgiving. Finding out that we passed court and that Cullen was legally or son three days before Thanksgiving was bittersweet!

We celebrated with my family in Washington DC where my sister is in medical school at Georgetown and then on to West Virginia to my brothers house to spend the rest of the weekend relaxing and enjoying time with the family (sadly minus my sister who needed to keep studying).

Here are some of the highlights of our long weekend!

Celebrating passing court with my family eating traditional Ethiopian cuisine.

(Clockwise: Brooke, Jeff, Tessa, Jair, Becca, Jake, and Pam)

Tractor ride in WV with cousins Eli and Sarah

Tessa driving the tractor with Auntie Pam!

I also want to apologize for being MIA these past days since passing court. I can't believe how long it took me to post these photos! We have been super busy shopping, packing, and trying to have as normal of a Christmas season for Tessa as we can as there is a good chance we could be traveling over Christmas to finally bring Cullen home. I will be sure to post as soon as we have official news of our travel dates. But for now, we are still waiting. Our agencies staff in ET is gathering paperwork, getting birth certificates and passports issued, etc. Once this is done we will be formally invited to travel to bring him home!! Hooray! We are hoping for news by tomorrow!!

FINALLY!!!!! He is our son!!!

I can't believe I am finally posting these words. Cullen Sinamo Adams is legally and irrevocably our son! After 5 months of waiting from the first time we saw his sweet round face, it is now only a matter of time (short time) before we can leave to bring him home!

The email came today around lunch time. Too say I was not expecting would be an understatement. But there it was..."Congratulations!" I could not breathe. Literally. I could not even read the rest of the email. I was hyperventilating as I launched my self onto Jeff, running around the house and screaming every time I could catch my breath. Only to catapult myself back onto my husband about 5 times as I would pass by! My mother couldn't even understand me because I was hyperventalating so much. I then had to have Jeff confirm that I had read it right...or actually that what I didn't continue to read really was that we had passed court today. It was. He is ours!!!!

So the sad part is that now there is more waiting. The not so sad part is that it is a short wait and a defined wait. It is just a matter of gathering the court papers, having a birth certificate issued and getting him a physical at the US Embassy before we can be assigned a date at the US Embassy that we will travel to Ethiopia for and bring him home. The most likely scenario is that we will be traveling towards the end of the year (or -hopefully not- into January of 2010). We are hoping to hear news of travel soon...but realistically it will probably be a few weeks before we are sure of our travel dates. We will keep you posted!

And I will close by saying thank you! We have so much to be Thankful for this year (like all years) but we are especially thankful to everyone for their prayers and support. I never thought this day would come. I didn't think I would make it emotionally. But I did. But we did. And finally he is ours! Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!!!

It is Nov 23rd in Ethiopia Already...

So I am posting now because I know tomorrow will be a super hard day for me (especially since we are likely to not get any news for multiple days on the outcome of our case).

It is Nov 23rd in Ethiopia already. Actually it is exactly 5:45 am right now. The courts will be opening in a few short hours I would imagine. Cullen's mother should be in Addis already (hopefully she is in Addis) to attend the hearing. I am praying for the judges, for his mother (well I have been praying for her for a long time and I continue to), for our agency representatives, for our son, for our emotional well being.

It is time. We have waited. I have been broken. We have been lifted up. I have been angry. We have had hope. I have doubt. We have been diligent. We have ached and cried.

But still, we have love. It is time for our son to be home.

Please pray with us.

Tessa Grows Up

The baby quilt my mom made for Tessa.

And finally some pictures of her big girl room! We moved her into her big girl bed a few months ago, but wanted to wait to share photos until her room was a little closer to being done. The big thing we were waiting on was her new quilt that my mom made for her! Finally after much hard work from my mom...it is finished and Tessa slept beneath it for the first time on Monday night! She LOVES it and so do we! Thanks Mom for yet another beautiful quilt! Your talent always amazes me (as well as your ability to put up with all my crazy requests and my particular personality)!!! So, without further ado...Tessa's new and improved big girl room!

=

New quilt and antique bed we had refinished.

The antique dresser we had refinished to match her bed.

And finally the big girl asleep under her new quilt!

Photos of Cullens room to come soon I promise! I want to at least have the wall hanging my mom did hung....

Pirated...Adoption, Orphans and Trusting God

So, yesterday...Sunday, November 8th 2009...was Orphan Sunday. I have been wanting to post something meaningful in response/about this, but when I read my good friend Bethany's post, I knew I would not be able to say it any better. She really articulated so well what I know to be true and how I feel about these things...Adoption, Orphans, and Trusting God. So please read it, and more importantly, TAKE ACTION.

I feel like a broken record sometimes asking: "What are you called to do?" "What is your something?" "Make your moment of grace happen." But I really feel like we all need that push, that constant reminder. Our lives are so busy and often times even full. There is no reason to move beyond your comfort zone. But if there is one thing that should move most anyone...it is the cry of the orphan. Or the cry of 143 million (143,000,000) of them.

And I am more guilty of this then most any of you. Even for adoption...we were one of those families who had "talked about and considered" adoption. But would we really have taken the leap if God had not reminded us not-so-gently about this seed he had planted in our hearts? It was not a comfortable step to take...it often still isn't. But there is no doubt in my mind that this is what we are called to do. My new question is always what ELSE can I do? Now I just need some more "pushes." Especially as our life is just about to get even more full with a second child at home.

So this is just another little push from your annoying little friend Brooke. What are you moved to do? Trust in God and DO IT.

Click on this link: http://hutchisonadoption.blogspot.com/2009/11/adoption-orphans-and-trusting-god.html

I am alive....

So last week was almost more than I could take. I finally have the wherewithal to sit down and post.

So what happened? Well as you know, the short of the long of it is that our court date was postponed (yet again) from Oct 22nd to November 23. We were hopefully all weekend that we had passed as we had not heard word from our agency. But when I called them on the Monday after our Thursday court date, they had just gotten word from their staff in ET that our date was postponed. I literally could not breath when the words came out of her mouth. The week before had been a tough one as we had learned some additional medical information about Cullen that means he will likely have to have a minor surgery when he gets home. Which we were hopeing would be in about 6 weeks. But instead we got news that once again, we would continue to wait to bring our son home.

The reason for the postponement was apparently that the "dockets were too full" and that they just did not get to our agencies cases that day. This was made all the more bitter by the fact that we had heard of other families with other agencies that had passed court on Oct 22nd. For some reason our agencies (and some others) cases were the ones pushed back. Why were the "dockets too full?" Well each fall the ET courts shut down for an undisclosed amount of time (typically about 6 weeks). Randomly and with out notice, about a month before the closure this year, the Ministry of Women's Affairs in ET (another government body that ins involved in processing paperwork for adoption cases) shut down for 2 weeks for training. All cases during htis time had to then be pushed back, starting the backlog. Then, the courts closed about 2 weeks after that for approximately 6 weeks. Our first court date was supposed to be the first week the courts were reopened, BUT the courts decided not to reopen as scheduled and stayed closed for training for an additional 2 weeks. And so additional backlog. Backlog from the closure and then more backlog for the delayed reopening. And a new court date for us of Oct 22nd. A date that apparently had too many cases scheduled due to all of these backlogs.

The good news in all of this is that we were actually given a future date (i.e. our court date was rescheduled rather than being postponed indefinitely). Often if your case is not heard, you then wait again to be assigned another date...which can take who knows how long. And then once you have the date you have to wait for it. Fortunately for us we were given a definite timeline and a spot in line. Without a scheduled date it is totally random how they seem to assign court dates.

So here I am comming out of my fog. Now it is less than 3 weeks to our 3rd try at a court date. Not great but better than the 4 weeks when we first heard. I really thought I was going to have a nervous breakdown last week. I am running out of the emotional wherewithal to continue to have to sit and wait with my hands tied to bring my son home. I want to be the one responding to and waking up to comfort him when he cries in the middle of the night. I want to start nursing him. I want him to start attaching to me and Jeff and Tessa, not random caregivers. I want to hold him in my arms and kiss his face.

Well at least I can start to prepare for the fact that there is basically no possibility now that he will be home for Christmas. Maybe January.

In the larger scheme of things, this wait is short...but for us, and for speedy ET adoptions, it is WAY TOO LONG. You can only understand if you have BTDT, but trust me, it is WAY TOO LONG.

Do you love coffee?

Do you love coffee? If so, we have a just the opportunity for you! The company "Just Love Coffee" has a great fundraising program for adoptive families. The Webb's, who own the company, are adoptive parents themselves of two girls from Ethiopia. They wanted to help help orphans and they have experience in the coffee roasting business, so they have started this great program.

You can sign up to receive a bag or bags of coffee every month, every other month, or you can just make a single purchase. Each pound is $12.95 and we receive $5 for each and every pound of coffee purchased. We also receive a percentage of all products purchased~T-shirts, mugs, scoops... The beans are freshly roasted~as in you place an order, then they will roast them for you! Christmas is coming~this would make a great gift and will help us bring our son home from Ethiopia at the same time!

We are so appreciative for the opportunity to share their great products. So, if you LOVE coffee, please check out our storefront by clicking the link here: https://www.justlovecoffee.com/AdamsAdoption

We are so thankful for your support!

I promise...

...to post more about our postponement. Honestly it is just easier for me not to think and or talk about it right now so I haven't wanted to post. I will though...once I can pull myself together a bit. I want to record every aspect of this journey for us and for our son.... thanks for being patient with me and thanks for our support.

We were postponed

Our court date was postponed to Nov 23rd.

Today Was The Day

The key word is WAS. Today is almost over and I wish I had something to share, something to report. But alas I do not. I knew this would be the case, but it doesn't make it any easier. Our agency (Holt) in all its conservative ethical glory has recently changed their policy and doesn't confirm passing court until they have the formal paper decree in hand which takes the court about 5 days to issue. I guess there are often contingencies on the ruling that is issued (i.e. tge Ministry of Womens Affairs in ET had errors in their paperwork or forgot some paperwork or something of the like) and Holt's staff in ET does not feel comfortable sharing the news until they have the paper decree in hand.

To say that today was anticlimactic and difficult all in one would be an understatement. The fact of the matter is that legally Cullen could be our son already, but we have no idea if this is the case or if we will have to wait another 4 months for those sweet words to be true. It is probably my fault...I built this day up in my mind so much. It was our day of reckoning. We have already waiting almost 4 months since first seeing his sweet face including a 2 week delay from a reschedule from our first date of Oct 7th. But today came and I spent it crying rather than celebrating. It seems like an unfair joke, that we have to wait an extra week when he could already be our son. I am frustrated and sad. I am mad at my agency (even if they have good reason to do it). I need to pull myself out of this slump. Monday we should at least be able to find out if we were rescheduled or did not pass...if we don't get word of that on Monday, then we are allowed to assume that we are just waiting for the official paper decree to be issued (i.e. we passed). I am just emotionally spent. I have said it before and I will say it again...it feels like I am running a race and someone keeps moving the finish line on me. Fortunately this is more like a mile marker...the finish line should still be the same if we have passed but this step in the process is just a mile longer than it was supposed to be.

Okay...I need to distract myself again or the insanity will take over. I have no idea how I will make it to Monday, let alone Thursday or Friday.
I WANT MY BOY HOME!!!!!!!!

36 Hours?

So in about 36 hours our case will hopefully have been heard and approved by a judge in Ethiopia. I am praying that all the pieces fall into place for us to pass. That the power doesn't go out, that they didn't schedule too many cases and actually get to ours, that the Ministry of Womens Affairs did not make any mistakes in their paperwork, that his mother shows up. Please pray with me...our little boy needs to be home.

From RI To AZ to ET...

And so...my friend Bethany and her husband just got back from ET and bringing home their beautiful 3 year old daughter Mikayla. Unfortunately Bethany got sick on the way home and has been battling a nasty bug since Friday so we haven't heard much from them about their trip. But, I have gotten bits of info from her over the past few days (unfortunately not much about their trip/daughter except the snippets from short posts, etc) and I am truely grateful to her and amazed again at God's grace.
I will give you the short of the long of it...but basically, Bethany was able to see and touch our son while she was in ET last week! To say this is nothing short of a miracle would be true...for all the children in the care center and the fact that he is a baby in the nursery and not with the children her daughters age and that our agency does not let families look for other families children, that she was even able to see him is beyond my expectations. But the fact that she was able to grab his little hands and touch him...love from his mommy in RI to AZ to ET. Who else but God can make something so small, but so meaningful, possible?
She said you can recognize him right away because of his cheeks (if you have seen his pictures you know what I am talking about...the sweetest baby cheeks you have ever seen). And that he chunky and healthy!!
On the heels of the disappointment of delayed court this is a sweet way for God to sustain me!!!!!
Thank you Bethany!!!

It's Oct 7th in Ethiopia Already...

Enough said for tonight. I am wallowing in self pity. I will try to pick my head up tomorrow. But for now, I am nursing my aching heart.
Godspeed my little man. Mommy loves you.

Bad News

So we just got word that our court date for Oct 7th has been rescheduled. I am so dissappointed. We are waiting longer than most families as is because the courts have been closed for the past 6 weeks and now we learn today that our wait will be another 2 weeks longer.
So I had been hearing rumors that the courts were not planning to open as scheduled next week in time for our court date. I didn't believe the rumors at first because they run rampant among families waiting for any news of progress. And our agency had not heard news as of yesterday. But then today I heard definite news from families with other agencies who had court dates for next week that had just been postponed. When I finally got in touch with our Agency today, just a few minutes before the email went out to notify us of what they had learned, we found out that our date was rescheduled for Oct 22nd because the courts were not hearing cases for an additional 2 weeks after reopening because of "staff training."
That is the only good news in all of this. Rather than just having our date canceled, it was fortunately rescheduled for just 2 weeks later. I am trying my best to stay positive but I really am so bummed about this news. It feels like my friend Robyn put it, like we are running a race and the finish keeps getting moved futher and further back the more we run.
Anyway...welcome to the uncertainty of interantional adoption. This is the way it looks folk. Its not easy and its not fun. Please pray that our date actually happens this time on the 22nd and that we pass on that date (it is very possible for us to not pass through because our case wasn't heard because there wasn't enough staff, the electricity went out, they scheduled too many cases for the day, etc.). Without having to have 2 or 3 or 4 court dates, we are still way longer than most any families to pick up or son. I really can't handle another setback. Also, please pray for Cullen and those caring for him. The best place for him is in the arms of his family. Arms that are aching to hold him and bring him home. I HATE all these obstacles. I know these two weeks will be a blip on the radar screen one day but for today they are so difficult.

A Look Back and a Look Forward

So a long time ago I posted about our friends the Hutchisons that we have gotten to know along this journey (well really Bethany and I have gotten to know each other...the rest of our families are by default ;) ). They were the family who were originally neck and neck with us on the waitlist until they got a referral much earlier than expected and about a month before us. I was so happy for them but it definitately was an adjustment realizing that we definitely wouldn't get to travel with their family and finally meet them in person (they live in AZ) when we went to pick up our kids. Regardless of how close we are to one another in the process (which in the larger scheme of things is VERY close) Bethany has been such a great confidant and support system for me in this process. We seem to process things similarly and have the same do it yourself attitude. I could not have made it this far without her support!!

And so, I am happy to share that they leave this Wed to pick up their daughter Mikayla in Ethiopia! I have been so excited the past few weeks as their day comes closer and closer and am really living vicariously through her. I wish I was able to be there with them to witness the first time they meet their new daughter! Very few are lucky enough to get to be a part of such an amazing moment in time! I feel blessed to be given the opportunity to do this myself but also to share in others amazing journey's as well.

All this being said, I ask for your prayers for the Hutchison family in the comming days and next few weeks. Like us, they will leave behind a child when they make the trip. Their 3.5 year old son Eli will be staying with his grandparents as Bethany and Micah make the long trip to ET to bring Mikayla home. Please pray for peace as they prepare these next few days physically and emotionally and as they say goodbye to Eli. Pray also for peace for Eli as he is away from his parents. Pray for a life changing and safe journey for mom and dad. Pray for Mikayla, this 3 year old girl who will be leaving the only country she has known and being thrust into a new culture and a new loving family. And pray for a smooth transition for her big brother when they do arrive home.

I am so excited for them and for the road God has laid out for them. I have no doubt the journey will be at the same time challenging and rewarding. We are so excited to follow in their footsteps hopefully only a few weeks later (okay probably like 8)! They will be there over our court date, an may even get to meet little Cullen and love on him for us!!!

Safe and joyous journeys....

The Countdown Is On!!

Okay, well I guess it has been on for some time...but really...today it is 2 weeks until our court date! While we probably won't hear of the outcome until a few days up to a week later, I can at least ask for you all to be praying for us in 2 weeks. Since they are ahead of us by 9 hours I believe that means that you will need to start praying on Tuesday Oct 6th since by the time we wake up on Oct 7th our case should have already been heard.
I really think I will have a nervous breakdown if we don't pass on Oct 7th. I just can't even imagine it...it would mean at least another 6-8 weeks added on to our already too long wait to bring our son home. As it is, travel times are slowing down and so we will not expect to travel to pick him up for 6-8 weeks AFTER we pass court. This means traveling mid to end of Nov IF we passon the 7th. He will be 7 months by then. Crazy!!!! If not, we hope for a quickly rescheduled court date (typically at least a month out) and then IF we pass then again, another 6-8 weeks on top of that before we can travel. Confusing I know...but all this is to say PLEASE pray that we pass court on Oct 7th and that we are able to travel asap after passing to get him.
I also hate to say it, but not passing is a definite reality. I don't know the percentages but it is a realtively common occurance that is typically caused by things such as power outages, staff shortages, too many cases scheduled in one day, Cullen's birth mother not showing up, etc. There is so much that hangs in the balance it is a wonder it ever all happens at all.
Okay, enough solicitation for prayers....we are well. Just stressed and busy and wishing we were home with BOTH of our kids. Life is sweet....

So, I am sending this post thru as a text message from my phone. Apparently it is relatively inexpensive to text compared to calling from ET so we may use this as a way to post to our blog to keep everyone updated. So this is me practicing!

What is your something?

I am only one.
But still, I am one.
I cannot do everything,
But still, I can do something.

And because I cannot do everything,
I will not refuse to do the something that I can do.

-Edward Everett Hale
(courtesy of Bethany Hutchison)

Busying Ourselves

Well, after one of the craziest summers on record, we are now looking for ways to keep ourselves occuppied this month of Sept as we not so patiently wait for our Oct 7th court date. We have had lots to do to get ready as I have blogged about before, but somehow none of it helps me focus. I feel like I am outside of myself sometimes, looking down, wondering how many more times I will have to put one foot in front of the other until that foot finally reaches our boy?

Lately it is looking like the time is getting longer when it should be getting shorter. Normally families travel 3-6 weeks after passing court, but now due to new TB testing requirements enforcement, among other things, our agency is saying it will likely be 8 weeks until we can travel after passing court. So for us, that means the end of Nov or early Dec. Not the early November we were origanlly hoping for. Don't forget, all of this is dependant on IF we even pass court on Oct 7th. If we don't, we will likely wait another 6 weeks or more for a 2nd court date and then hope to pass that date before we can even think about starting that 8 week wait to travel. That would definitely mean 2010 before we had our boy home with his family. UGHHH. I feel like I am saying that alot these days.

Anyway, I am really frustrated with the whole wait to travel thing. Once we pass court, in the eyes of the ET govt we are legally Cullen parents. But bureaucracy stands in our way of bringing him home. He has to spend an unnecessary 8 weeks in institutionalized care when he is legally ours. UGHHHH. Can you understand how frustrating that is? Documents have to be gathered from the courts, a birth certificate must be issued, a physical must be scheduled and competely with the US Embassy, a visa appointment date must be set, etc., etc. Really? Really.

Anyway, here is what we have been doing the past few weeks...time spent with my sweet daughter is the best and seemingly only remedy for my frustrations.

Tessa first habachi dinner to celebrate her first night in her new big girl bed!

And her first Strawberry Daquiri to add to the celebration!!

Fun at the baseball game with Mommy, Daddy, Gee Gee and Papa!

In Addis and Name!

So we got confirmation today that our son has been moved from the care/intake center in Durame, a town about 4-5 hours south of the capitol city of Addis Ababa, Ethiopia, to their transition/care center in Addis Ababa! The news means that we should expect updated information on him in the next few weeks as they always complete a new assessment when kiddo's are transferred since they have much better access to facilities, etc in the capitol. Really it just means we are one step closer to our little boy.

It is just so strange to get random reports about your child and to hear that he has been moved and to have no control over any of it. With Tessa I decide everyone who cares for her, where so goes, the type of care she is getting, the type of food she eats, etc. I haven't even had the chance to hold my little boy yet and random people (I have no say in who they are other than choosing my particular agency and trusting them) are cuddling him, kissing him, feeding him, changing his diaper and comforting him. Talk about a lesson in faith! Trusting in the unseen. Lets just say that I am glad I have experience in this arena. I am really struggling with this as it is. It is emotionally exhausting. Ahh, another post for another day...

So we have also finally decided on a name. We are keeping his given last name as his middle name since it is his family name and we thought that was more important than his first. And so, after much laboring over this decision, we introduce:

Cullen Sinamo Adams

He was born on or about April 14th of 2009 and he weighed just 8.8lbs at about his 3 month birthday. His a beautiful little boy with dark brown eyes and a round face with big kissable lips and relatively dark brown skin. We can't wait to share his pictures!!!

New Photos!!

We got new photos of the little munchkin today! I am so excited to see his cute little face again! He has the most kissable cheeks!
Its funny how ingrained the first two pictures we had of him were in our minds. I feel like he looks totally different even though it is definitely my little boy in those pictures. I just shows how much we are missing of his life...all we know of him is the snapshot in our minds. With Tessa I knew her every move, her cries, her suckling, her sighs. It is unbelievably hard not to go over and get him right away. I just want to mother him and love him.
Even better than the pictures themselves is the fact that he looks so much more relaxed and happy in these photos. In the first two, which are usually taken on intake, he looks like he is upset and/or had been crying. You can see the concern in his face and his furrowed little brow. In contrast, in these pictures his face is relaxed and alert with no distress in those eyes. His eyes are big and bright and oh so dark! It gives me confidence once again in the amazing care that the Holt staff is giving him. As much as I am thanful for it and know that we chose the right agency, it doesn't change the fact that I want to go get him right now! Have I said that already?
Just thought I would share...

My ears must have been ringing....

WE GOT A COURT DATE!!!!!!!
I just posted about these things and a few hours later we get an email with an Oct 7th court date!!!! Holy crap is all I can say...sorry for the explatives...at least I am restraining! I was hoping for good news/updated info on the munchkin on Monday but waiting two extra days was worth it!!
In any case, it is a long ways off and means we are waiting through court closures, but the benefit is that we dont' have to wait all through court closures wondering when they will reopen and then getting stuck in that backlog I was just talking about of people who have been lining up for theirs all during court closure and not getting one till like Nov or Dec. YEAH! I don't know what else to say!!!!!!!!!
Baby boy...we are comming to bring you home!!! I can't wait to kiss your little face!!! And as Tessa would say "Love you up!"

What Happens Next?

So, I have been promising to post this and have just not gotten around to it.


Well, the answer to that question is waiting....more waiting....

To quote our agency "3-5 months" of more waiting.

What are we waiting for?

Here's how it works in Ethiopian adoption. Once you formally accept your referral, our agency submits our paperwork to the Ethiopian court systems. Yes, back in early 2009, all of those months of paperchasing are finally doing their duty!!! Once the paperwork goes through who knows how many layers of beurocracy in the ET court system, we are assigned a court date. We don't have to physically be there for this court date (a representative from our adoption agency will represent us) but we do have to pass which doesn't always happen on the first try. Typically, if you don't pass it is due to the fact that the courts did not have time to get to your case that day (i.e. they are overburdened by the exponentially increasing number of adoptions from ET). If you don't pass, you are assigned another court date, at another undisclosed time at some random point in the future. If and when you do pass, in the eyes of the Ethiopian govt, we will be the parents of our little boy!!!!

Then the ball really starts rolling and we get to the good stuff. TRAVEL!!!

Travel is scheduled around standing appointments that our agency has at the US Embassy in ET. We have to be present for this appointment which occurs on our trip over to pick up our son and is needed so that we can get a visa for him to travel home with us on. He will already have been issued an ET passport since he won't officially be a US citizen until after we "re-adopt" him when we get home. So our agency has 2 standing embassy appointments per month and they schedule travel around these but also in groups of at least 5 families. This all being said, once you pass court we will likely travel in 3 to 6 weeks depending on the logistics. Not much time to pack, buy plane tickets for halfway across the world and notify work that you will be taking your maternity leave in a few short weeks.

So the one glitch in this plan is or course the fact that we are dealing a third world country, their government and court systems. And every year on unknown dates, for an undisclosed amount of time (typically 6 weeks) the court systems in ET close. Of course that closure has to happen shortly after we get our referral. This year, although the courts have not yet sent out their formal announcement, there are rumors that it will close on or about August 21st. So...if we don't get a court date before then, those average's go out the window and we not only have to wait through who knows how long of court closure, but also through the backlog that will have occured as a result of this closure. A backlog of scheduling cases and a backlog of hearing those actual cases.

Our paperwork was submit approximately 2 weeks ago (we hope) and I am praying and hoping that we sneak in before Aug 21st, but in my heart I know and feel that it will not happen. The difference means picking our little boy up in December rather than Sept or Oct. Ahhhhh....or should I say Ughhh?

Does this all make sense?

Cute Stories and Tessa

So I have to share two of the sweetest stories...

My favorite was while we were on vacation at the MD shore two weeks ago. We have obviously told Tessa about her new baby brother and she see's his cute little picture every day. While she will tell you his name, I am not sure quite how much she really comprehends what it all actually means.

But...on our last day at the beach there was an African family camped out next to our group on the sand. It looked to be a grandmother, father and mother, maybe an aunt and a little baby boy that I would later find out was 9 months old. He was cute, and bald and of course, black.

In any case, Tessa of course wanted to go over and see the baby. As a two year old, she loves all babies and kids. On the way over when we asked her "Do you see the little baby?" She thoughtfully said...

"Thats my brother!"

She may not understand what adoption is, where babies come from or how different her life will be in (hopefully) a few short months, but she knows her brother is black. Interesting...and cute!

And my morning....

We are leaving for Portland, OR for my cousins wedding today. And Tessa knows we are going in an airplane to get there. She also knows that we are, one day, going in an airplane to pick up her baby brother. When we were cuddling in bed this morning, I reminded her that we would be going in an airplane today and her immediate response was...

"To pick up my brother?"

Looks like even his little sister can't wait to bring him home. The funny part is that she always asks if she can go with us to pick him up as we have and continue to explain that just mommy and daddy are going to fly to Ethiopia to bring him home. Appparently she is not giving up that easily!

No Pictures

To answer the question that I keep getting about wanting to see photos of the little munchkin....I am sorry to say but if you want to see them you will have to come by (or actually see us since carry around a printed one like every proud mama). Unfortunately we are not supposed to post, email, or put the pictures on the internet because it could jepordize the adoption...not exactly sure what the story is with this, but I am not going even find out. Hopefully in a few short months when we bring him home we will be able to plaster his photo all over our blog, facebook, picasa, etc. We can't wait to show the world his cute little face!!

Ouch!

Shots are not so much fun.

Jeff got 5 and I got 4 but one of mine counted for all 5 of Jeffs...that nasty Tetnus shot. I can't wait to enjoy a week with a throbbing arm! Really I can't. It is going to be a sweet and constant, nagging reminder of my little boy and the trip I get to make to bring him home!

Jeff: Typhoid Fever, Yellow Fever, Hep A booster, Meningococal, Polio

Brooke: Tetnus, Typhoid Fever, Yellow Fever, Meningococal

I only made out with less shots becuase I had been to Africa before...and I had lifetime Hep A, B and Polio then. Unfortunately my Tetnus, Yellow Fever and Typhoid had all expired so I had to get them once again. And fortunately for Jeff when we traveled to Thailand in 07 he has his first Hep A booster and of course Tetnus!

Here's to one more step closer to our little man!

Stuff

Well, I knew this would be the hardest time. And it is.

The wait after seeing my little boy's face is excruciating. You cannot imagine unless you have lived through it. The only other thing that has come close was wondering if he was my son for 2 weeks.

I think about him constantly. Whether it is his name, what he is doing, what time of day it is for him (i.e. is he having his dinner bottle or is someone kissing him goodnight?), what shade of blue to paint his nursery, will he be home in time for the holidays, what will Tessa think of him, how will she handle being a big sister (and losing 100% of the attention all the time), will the pained expression on his face in his referral photo be gone the next time I see him, am I the only one who thinks his face looks distressed in the photo, what size clothes will I need to bring when we go get him, will he have gained enough weight to be in the size appropriate for his age by US standards by his first birthday, does he know that there is a family out there who loves him as he sleeps alone or with a crib full of other babies on the other side of the Earth, did I make the right choice buying the infant car seat or will he be too big for it by the time we go get him, is there any chance we will make it through court closing, is this wait going to get that much harder when court closes and we have not gotten a date, how many nipples should I bring with Avent bottles with disposable liners I have decided to bring, will he nurse, will I be able to produce milk again, will the supplementer work, will we have to miss a wedding to go get him, what does his giggle sound like, what will my boss say about maternity leave, when will he get to meet his cousins, does anyone else have any idea how it is possible to fall totally and completely in love with someone you have never met? I could write a novel with the things I think about him....and it has been less than a week since I have known he would be ours.

In any case, the one good thing is that there is so much STUFF to do during this part of the wait. The last part of the wait was so fast that it didn't really matter that there was nothing to do but wait. I am going crazy with the things I have to do. Reading books, picking paint colors, transitioning Tessa to a big girl room (and stocking that room with the big girl bed, etc), buying little boy clothes, etc. I thought it would be easier because I had done it before...but this is nothing like before. I have no idea when (i.e. no due date). I don't know how old or big he will be. I am going to try something that is not set up by nature (i.e. nursing without being pregnant before and/or with having him had a bottle this whole time) to be successful. His skin and haircare will be completely different. Attachment is a whole different story with a newborn than with a 6 or even 3 month old. We have to learn about that and work hard at it. PACKING...YIKES! Picking a name...crap...we should have really done that before we had a pic...it makes it so much harder. So many questions....like how many nipples to bring so I don't have to wash them since I may not be able to anyway. In any case, I am busy. Thankfully so. And thankfully I work full time so the business on top of that really doesn't give me much time to go totally crazy waiting. Because I think I could.

I want to kiss his little cheeks. I want to hold him and tell him I love him. I want to see the expression on Tessa's face when she see's him for the first time.

So this is the stuff of waiting to go pick up your son...in case you were wondering.

And another call!!!!!!

Not the call I was expecting on the Thursday before the holiday weekend. Eugene, OR...hmmm that is where our agency is. No way. They must be calling to let us know they got the document I sent (the 171H approval that finally came).

Nope. The message I got from Jenn at Holt said she had some "information" for us and was hoping to get in touch with us before the holiday weekend.

By the time I had called Jeff to tell him we needed to get on a conference call to call Holt back ASAP, he was already on the phone with Jenn (in the midst of shock, apparently my rational though process went out the window and I forgot that when they call you with a referral they try all numbers until they can get through to someone).


It was a referral!!!!


A 3 month old little boy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I don't know what else to write but !!!!!!!!!!!. We are beyond excited! The shock of that day is still fresh in my memory...the trembling, the sweating, haha...I really couldn't believe it! No matter how fast we had been moving up the wait list, we really still weren't supposed to get a referral until the fall!


So, why has it taken my 2 weeks to post, to share this amazing info? Well, typically we would have almost immediately...once you get your referral info it needs to be reviewed, looked at by a physician, etc and then you have to formally accept the referral. Well, we weren't able to formally accept our referral until this week. Because of some errors in his paperwork, we had to wait (not so patiently) for almost 2 weeks for our agency to hear back from their staff in ET with correct information. It has been an excruciating 2 weeks but finally we know that the beautiful little boy in the 2 pictures we have is our new son!!!!!!! The second call came on Tuesday, the day he turned 3 months old, after weeks of me calling our agency daily, power and Internet outages in ET, court closure date announcements, sudden closing of the Ministry of Women's Affairs in ET, etc, etc.


This week we are on vacation at the MD shore where my family has gone every year since before I was born with a number of other families. What a great place to relish in the glow of a new life, a new addition to our family, a new son, grandparents and aunts for the 4th time, parents for the 2nd time, hope for a little (very little) 3 month old boy.


We are excited to share FINALLY this news!!! I will post more when we are home and have more access to Internet about next steps but know for now know that we are elated beyond words.


And that the wait continues...it will likely be another 3 to 5 months until we can go pick our munchkin up.

The call actually came!

So I did get a call from our local USCIS guy today and our I600A has been approved!! Thank the Lord! Our approval letter was apparently going out in the mail today. You can be sure I won't hold my breath until it is in my hands.
Happy 4th!

Do you really want to know?

Ahh the joys of bureaucracy! I love the US Govt!!!!

So do you really want to know the realities of all the hoops we jump through, paperwork, glitches, bureaucracy, etc, etc for adoption? I don't post alot of this stuff because, well, its boring and frustrating and who wants to rehash boring and frustrating? Not me! But, I thought this example was a good one of some of the things that plague adoptive families on a day to day basis throughout their journey. It should give you a better idea of what we have been and will continue to go thru.

So everyone knows we are finished with our paperwork and in the waiting phase. Waiting for a referral (i.e. to be matched with a child). We we really aren't "done" with all of our paperwork. One of the pieces to the puzzle involves filing a petition to classify an orphan as a US citizen with the USCIS (United States Citizenship and Immigration Dept). Well, we filed this very important form with USCIS back in Jan...yep, you heard me right, JANUARY! Once it is filed, we are scheduled to be fingerprinted. We were fingerprinted in February. Included in the application is a copy of your Homestudy (the document written by our social worked that includes who we are, where we come from, how we parent, finances, marriage, families, home, etc, etc...basically more information about myself than I know about myself!). Fortunately the USCIS allows you to file this application (called the I600A form) and get fingerprinted before your Homestudy is complete (i.e. you have met a bunch of times with your social worked and they have written this very long document). This allows the process to go much faster and to get approval in plenty of time for the adoption. Well in the state of RI, approval happens usually within a few weeks of recieving your completed homstudy. Ours went to USCIS about 3 months ago. So you can imagine that when I had still not recieved our approval letter 2 months later, I was getting a little worried. I knew all of our paperwork was in order, I had been down to the USCIS office in providence like 4 times already (for other hoops, bureaucracy, etc that I did not and will not get into), other famalies I know adopting in the area had heard back (multiple times) from USCIS who had filed after us. Ughhhh...what was going on?

Well, I would not have been as worried....except for the small fact that we are skyrocketing up the waiting list! And the reality is that we could get a referral as soon as July! We can't go to pick up our child if we do not have this approval letter. You can image why I was getting a little antsy.

So I called our Homestudy Agency (who is great by the way, they are so helpful and have been great to work with) and they finally did some digging since we were past the normal window to hear back. Well, for weeks, we were not hearing anything....they were putting in calls to their USCIS adoption contact in RI and hearing nothing back. Again and again. UGHHHH!!! Finally after a few weeks, they got someone on the line who informed them that their contact was no longer handling the adoption paperwork. They gave our case info and were told the new person would call back. Yeah right!!! Finally I decided to take matters into my own hands, make an appointment and head down to the USCIS office in Providence.

Ahh, my favorite place to be!

Not so much.

After waiting 30 minutes past my appointment time, I was told that the man I needed to speak with was not in and of course would not be in until the middle of the following week. Could I come back then? Umm hello, I work, I have a toddler... Well fortunately the adoption guys supervisor (this nice man's name was Mike) came out to try to help me (no I didn't pitch a fit...he just did this when he was asked about) . He admited that even as a supervisor, he was not trained on the I600A form and wasn't sure he would be able to help me today but offered to do some digging in case he might find something. Well he did...the first thing he found was that they didn't have our homestudy. Now you would think that we might get notified to this fact. But no, our file with approved fingerprints was just sitting in a file waiting for said homestudy to arrive.

UGHHH!! What? I had already jumped through like 6 hoops (including previous apptmnts at USCIS) to get my homestudy added to my file. As I went to call my agency, Mike went to do even more digging. As luck would have it (well luck for that moment I guess), before I could get my agency on the phone, Mike found our homestudy in a pile on some other desk. Misplaced in the switchover from the "old adoptoin guy to the new one." The new guy will be back in the office and apparently our file will be on the top of his desk and he is supposed to call us first thing on Tuesday to make let us know we are all set and to get it officially into the system and have an approval letter go out to us. I don't have a ton of faith that this will actually happen...I guess we will see next week.

So the moral of the story is...had I not gone in personally, talked to just the right person, or Mike not happened upon our misplaced homestudy, we would still have no idea what was going on. It is amazing that they tell you adoptions are their first priority at USCIS. If they are then how come they are losing the paperwork? Come on.

Welcome to the crazy world of adoption.

It is so worth it!

Or #9...

So we are officially sitting at number 9! Now that all the referrals that went out have been accepted it looks like we won't move up anymore for the time being. Just wanted to keep you all in the loop!

Yep!

Yep, we moved up! We are offically number 10!!!!! on the waitlist! I really am so shocked at how quickly we are moving up. 19 to 10?!?!?!?!?! And in just over a month!!!

So there is also the possibility that we will move up one or two more spots this week as our agency said that one or two of the referrals that went out had not been officially accepted yet. I know who one of those is and their acceptance should be on their desk by now. That means 9 or maybe even 8 by the end of the week!!!!

Oh my goodness...I really need to start preparing for being a parent for the second time. I really was not imagining having to even think of this till the end of the year...but now we could (possibly) have our baby home by the end of the year!!! YIKES!!! I am going to be a mom x2 before I know it! They say it is always an unknown in adoption. I just thought the unknown would mean a longer wait not a shorter one! It still could be though...we could wait here for another year if we are not the right family for the children that need homes. Well, I am trying to have faith in God's plan. He knows our baby and our hearts and is working in mysterious ways to bring them together at just the right time!

Speaking of referrals...

A number of referrals went out this week to other families in the Holt International Ethiopia program. Congrats to all families and the exciting news, but our hearts are especially warmed by the news of a referral of a little girl to our friends Bethany and Micah and their son Eli. Bethanyand I have gotten to know each other through the Holt Ethiopia Yahoo Group and our blogs and emails. Their family was (until this week) always one ahead of us on the wait list (i.e. when we were 19, they were 18). Because of some interesting circumstances, they recieved a referral much earlier than expected. We are so happy for them and hope they get to travel soon to bring the newest memeber of their family home. It is my solemn prayer that they will get a quick court date and not have to wait through court closing late this summer into the fall.

I do have to admit there is a slight sadness in my heart that we are no longer neck and neck in this journey...Bethany has been a great confidant and we are so similar in so many ways in how we are processing this journey...but this sadness is washed quickly away by a few things. The first of which is the joy of a growing family and God's grace more evident than ever in the uniqueness of their referral. The second is the reality that while we are not getting our referrals on the same day, we really are only a few months at most behind...and in the larger scheme of things, that still means we are sharing the journey side by side. Regardless, we are filled with joy (have I said that already)!! God is good!

So I will check with Holt officially on Monday, but we have definitely moved up on the waitlist. I am fairly certain that the highest number we could be would be number 13, but have a feeling we are more like 12 or 11!!! Yikes! I am so caught up in the anticipation of knowing who our next child will be and meeting them, that I sometimes forget just how quickly this is all happening. We will be a family of 4 before I know it! What happened to 9 months gestation? Haha...I am sure we will still have that. Unfortunately we will probably get caught in the twilight zone of court closure meaning that once we get a referral we will have to wait FOREVER before we can bring our baby home. In any case, I guess I really need to get down to business...double strollers to buy, more books to read, pumping my happen sooner than I can imagine (sorry for the straight forwardness...but if you know me, you know how I feel about this), etc, etc... God has plans for us and they are definately on His schedule. Nothing new about that...

6787.32 Miles

The distance from Providence, RI USA to Addis Ababa, Ethiopia.

What is a referral?

So as most of you know, we are waiting for a referral. Since one of the most common questions I get is "What exactly is a referral?" and/or "What exactly is it that you are waiting for/what is the next step?" I figured I would answer that question.

So a referral is basically when a family is matched with a child. i.e. A child comes into care that fits the profile that we have established with our adoption agency and they determine that we would be the best family for that child. When Holt matches us with a child, we will get a phone call (well probably a bunch since they try to reach you on like every different number they can) where they will tell us a bit about the child and then photos and more medical information will be emailed on to us. On average, from the time you get your paperwork in with our agency, the wait time to a referral is 6-9 months. However, when we got our paperwork in to our agency and offically got on their waiting list earlier this spring/late winter, our agencies waiting list was much smaller than it usually is (economy?). That being said, it still could take longer than 9 months for us to be matched with a child, but it could also take less time given how small the list is.

So what happens once we get the referral? Well, offically we will have to accept the referral (which is usually done within a week) after having the medical information reviewed by our pediatrician/international adoption physician.

And then of course, once we have accepted the referral, we wait again!

This time we are waiting for our paperwork to be submit to the Ethiopian courts and eventually for us to find out our "court date" for our adoption with the ET government. We do not have to be present for this date, but once we "pass" court, in the eyes of the ET government, the child is legally ours.

And then of course, once we have passed our court date, we wait again!

Ha. This time we are just waiting for an invitation to travel, which usually comes very quickly after you hear about passing court and travel to pick up the child happens within 3-6 weeks from passing court. This date is all dependant on and scheduled around a US Embassy aptmnt in ET that we have to be present for to get a visa for the baby to travel home with us. Actual US citizenship, formal adoption in the US, etc all happens once we are home with baby.

Any questions? Basically it all involves being matched with a child and waiting!

Here's to more waiting!

The Elephant In The Room

Well both elephants I guess I should say.

So we have decided to do elephants in baby number 2's room. If it is a girl they will be pink, if it is a boy they will be blue. Wow - I am creative - Pink for a girl and blue for boy. Who would have thought? Haha! In any case, we just like the reference to Africa and my mom found the pattern for a quilt wall hanging that I absolutely LOVE that we are going to alter a bit to have Elephants rather than the bunnies they show it with in the pattern. I am not big on the whole "theme room" thing but at least this gives me something to start thinking about/planning for.

The other Elephant.

I would like to say that people are probably wondering why we are adopting since we already have a beautiful, smart, healthy birth daughter. That is always one of the first questions or "elephants" on everyone's mind when someone says they are adopting. But in our case, I have a feeling most people think they already know why we are adopting our second child. And so, I would like to formally dispel all rumors and/or address the elephant in the room.

Long before Tessa was even an twinkle in either of our eyes, Jeff and I had talked about adoption. I always knew that if for some reason I was unable to have birth children (either because we waited to long to have kids or for other issues) that I didn't want to go through fertility treatments, or even the whole emotional roller coaster of wondering if we would ever be able to have kids. I just didn't feel like it was necessary. I still don't. Adoption has always been something I have been okay with and talking about it with Jeff...we agreed that it would be a possibility for us in the future.

And then I got pregnant with Tessa. And got really sick and almost died. Like 3 times. In the middle of it all, I kept saying how there was never going to be another baby coming out of my body again if could help it. A number of people brushed it off and said "Oh everyone says that right after they give birth. Just give it time, you will forget and want more." I hate to say it, but it pissed me off at the time. I felt like it made light of the fact that I almost died (did I mention 3 times????) and had the nerve to assume that what I went through was like "everyone" else. So when we told people we had decided to adopt...this is the reason, I assume, many thought that we were adopting. Because of what happened to me medically and my response to it.

Really though, the reason is that we WANT to adopt. And now, its that we want to adopt a child from Ethiopia.

There is truth in what I said about not wanting to have another birth child again. But I will also finally admit that there is also a little truth to what some people said about doing it again (that originally pissed me off). It wasn't that I forgot, or that my love for Tessa made me okay with doing it again...it was more that there were things and experiences that I did and did not get to have that I wanted to have again or to have at all. I had a normal pregnancy...but I wanted the excitement of trying to get pregnant (we didn't quite have that with Tessa to say the least) and I wanted a normal delivery. To go into labor. To enjoy the moment when she was born and the first weeks and months after. Most importantly probably, to breastfeed another child (I think it goes without saying how attached I feel to this amazing opportunity to have between a mother and a child).

For everyone who thought they already knew the reason we were adopting, the reality of the situation is this: I can do all of these things, have all of these experiences. We have met with the doctors, the high risk specialists and they all told me I can have another child again if I want to. I would be high risk, higher risk than even the first time...but it is all manageable, made more so by the fact that they have a heads up and can be on the lookout. I think the problem now is...I just don't want to. We decided to adopt long before I ever thought about HELLP, and Maternal Fetal Medicine, and Mag Sulfate, and nursing pads. Maybe these things were just God's way of reminding us of this decision.

So I guess I can't totally say "you are wrong if you think we are adopting because of what happend with my delivery and after." It did play a part in our adoption. It may very well have been the thing that kicked us in gear and been the reminder that we needed. It just isn't the reason. The reason is that we WANT to adopt. And now, its that we want to adopt a child from Ethiopia.

I get that adoption is not for everyone. And it shouldn't be. But it is for us.

Yeah for the Chapman Family!!!

We just found out last week that the below mentioned family who is also adopting from ET has gotten a referral for a little girl!! We are so excited for them and finally got to speak with them and hear all about their little Ruth last night!! It really was a reminder of what we will be going through sooner than we think! Pray for them as they await more steps in the process (court dates, etc.), plan their travel, and get ready to bring Ruth Lee home!!! We are so happy for Dawn and Stephen (and Ruth too)!!

Maya's Mercato

So I found this really cool site for artisans and businesses all working to benefit Ethiopians. Looks like they have some cool stuff. Check it out (and order something!!!)!
http://mayasmercato.com/

I think Jeff, Tessa and I are going to try to do the Carry Water Campaign walk that is listed on the main page Sept 20th if anyone else is interested in joining us. I need to look into it a bit more. I am also wondering if they allow you/if there is a way to run with a gallon of water!!

Movin' On Up!

So...we are now number 19 on the waitlist!!! Not as big of a jump as I was expecting, but progress none-the-less. I never know how accurate the numbers are for how long since, even though referrals have gone out (i.e. they have notified families on the waitlist that they have been matched with a child), families are not removed from the waitlist until they formally accept their referral (i.e. after they review pertinant medical info with their pediatrician, etc). But for now...we are 19!! And movin' on up!!!

Sick

So I have been complaining that I can't focus...apparently its the curse of the wait list. Whatever it is I can't focus....

But now I am sick....I am so invested in this (like who isn't at this point?) and any not so positive information about the process makes me sick. So I hear alot of not so positive information throug the online forums that I belong to...yahoo groups, Holt groups, Ethiopia adoptoin groups, etc. Normally I just take it in and try to move on. I know that there is nothing predictable about international adoptoin. I knew this was going to be especially hard for me, a type A who likes to know about, control and fix everything. Here is the one time I am tried to my limits. Adopting a child from foreign country. Two legal processes, two governments, two very different cultures...faith in a process and an agency. Well initially I guess this didn't hit so hard...the whole lack of control thing. Because I could still control it at that point. The decisions I made about what country to adopt from (as if I can believe that that EVER was a decision), what agency to use, what social worker to go with, etc, etc. The effect of those decisions seemed so tagable back then. Our agency had its own orphanage, they are one of the most ethical agencies in existence, there concern is children and keeping families together, not finding children for adoptive parents...all things that are important to me. I just need to remember that those decisions, those acts of control are showing their worth now. So I did, so I DO have control.....

I found out that this week that the Ethiopian Court that hears all adoption cases (i.e. allows you to adopt a child from Ethiopia) has stopped hearing cases for children who were abandoned in the capitol city of Addis Ababa. The alert from the US Department of State is below:

Ethiopia Adoption Alert
U.S. DEPARTMENT OF STATE

Bureau of Consular AffairsOffice of Children’s Issues
May 13, 2009

Adoptions of Abandoned Children Halted by Ethiopian Court:

The Ethiopian First Instance Court has temporarily stopped accepting cases involving abandoned children from orphanages in Addis Ababa, citing concern over a recent increase in the number of abandoned children being brought for adoption. The number of abandoned children from orphanages in Addis Ababa has grown dramatically in recent months and Ethiopian authorities have become aware of possible cases of unethical practices associated with some of them.

Currently neither MOWA nor the First Instance Court are accepting any abandonment case from any orphanages in Addis Ababa pending an inquiry.

*As an FYI, abandoned children are those who are left on a doorstep, found on the street, etc. Different from Relinqished children where the parents or family members are present to give them up.

So while this news makes me sick for a number of reasons, the good news is that I made good decisions before we even started the process. Our Agency, Holt International is definitely a legitmate, ethical agency and there is no chance (I mean 100% no chance) that they would be involved in unethical practices such as those the courts are concerned with. In addition, Holt does not pull children from government or outside orphanages, they opened their own Holt run orphanage so they are in charge of the intake of children, caring for them, and matching them with families so ensures us that there are no outside entities who could be acting inappropriately. Finally, the Holt orphanage where they intake children is not in the capitol city of Addis Ababa. It is located about a 7 or 8 hr drive on dirt roads South West of the capitol in a village called Durame. What this means is that none of the Holt adoptions SHOULD be affected since the problem seems to only be occuring in the capitol city. The other positive is that yesterday, our agency had an abandonment case be approved through the ET court system....in the midst of all of this, none-the-less.

But what makes me sick...is that these type of corruption issues can be precursors to countries shutting down their adoption programs altogether. Not only would this mean starting the process all over again, but it is so much more than that for me now. As I said before, I am so invested. It is not just about adopting any more. It is this country, these children... I just don't know what I would do... I want to bring home a child from Ethiopia... maybe multiple children. To give them a home, a chance for life, a family, love. I know there are other countries and children in need... but I haven't yet connected to them in the way that I have to Ethiopia. I am scared to think of having to do that all over again. The emotional investment is HUGE. But larger ramifications of this (either some or all adoptions being shut down) are that there are needy children out there who will not get placed with loving families. That there are children and families possibly being torn apart due to corruption....it doesn't matter what it is...it all just makes me sick.

So normally I don't even post these type of things. This is, afterall, international adoption. Everything is an unknown... there are lots of rumors and facts going around that are not so pleasant. But...I am just so sick about this. I guess I just needed to talk about it. Well we are months and months away from even having to think about court. We won't be assigned a court date until a month or so after we get a referral (and we have AT LEAST 4 more months before we should even bother checking our email/phones for the referral call). Who knows what will happen in that time. This is, after all, international adoption.

Pray for these children...

Humanity and Questions and Grace

So there is this whole democrat and republican thing. This whole Brooke and Jeff thing. This whole "who is responsible thing" that I have been thinking about lately. It really is this idea of social justice I think....or do I think? I don't know. But I am shocked by how differenly people feel about this whole issue. Democrats and repbulicans, Brooke's and Jeff's, American's and African's.

Who is responsible? I AM! You are! I think many would pose the question as "Who is to blame?" I work hard for my money, why should I have to clean up others messes? I think this is a cop out. Does it matter who is to blame? Isn't it humanity that calls us to be responsible?

What am I talking about? Lots of things I guess...but specifically HIV/AIDS. It is a pandemic...that the majority of the word is doing nothing about. My question to you is...How can you NOT be responsible? Isn't that the definition of humanity? The quality of being marked or motivated by concern with the alleviation of suffering. Or are you selfish like so many of us are and does our humanity only pertain to ourselves and our loved ones? I would like to think of myself as humane, but am I really? Do my actions show that I am? Am I courageous enough to be?

The reality is that the world (myself included) is standing by and watching while entire countries are being wiped out by the pandemic of HIV/AIDS. Isn't this just another form of Genocide? The medications exist to save lives. In the US, AIDS is now more a condition that you live with rather than a death sentence for most people. In places like Ethiopia, it is only a death sentence. Isn't keeping these medicines from anyone a form of genocide?

I am responsible. Why sould I be the one to pay for this? Why should America be the one to pay for this?

Why shouldn't we be?

Is having two cars, granite countertops, or an HD TV really more important than any one persons life? Well I have those things...so I guess that means that I think they are. But really is giving up those things the answer? I don't know what the answer is...but I think I want to be involved in it, whatever it is.

And so I am back to the whole democrat and repbulican thing....the Jeff and Brooke thing. I belive in sharing the wealth we are lucky enough to have with those less fortunate that us, the wealth that we have been afforded by the lives and countries we were born into. Jeff thinks it is not fair that we work hard and have to give our money to people who don't work as hard. It's all how you view it I guess. But these differences, they just have me thinking... who is responsible? Where is the humanity? What can I do?

I am called to act. The question is how? I am trying to figure that out...

This is from the web site of th book From Ashes to Africa:

Our story begins where the trailhead ends.
A rocky marriage.
Life pressures.
Infertility.

The deep, dark woods. We've all
been there.

Good stories, though, always contain a moment of
grace. A moment where the narrative arc takes a surprising twist, and
bends toward hope.

For us, that exquisite moment of grace took
place in an orphanage in Africa
where we met and fell in love with a baby
boy named Tesfamariam.

Adoption was our awakening. It's where
we discovered a world within our
world made up of 4.4 million orphans. As a
result, we know we can't go back to
life as normal. Instead we feel summoned
to a lifestyle of involvement with the
"least of these."

I guess what I am trying to say is that I feel like this is my moment of Grace...

Our Dossier is in Ethiopia! (And some background info FYI)

So we just got the email today from our adoption agency that our dossier arrived safely in Ethiopia! Before it arrived in ET, our dossier first went (from our adoption agency) to the US State Department for authentication, and from there it went to the Ethiopian Embassy in Washington D.C. for further authentication. Now that it is in Ethiopia, it will be translated and prepared for court. One more step down in the process!!

What is this "dossier" some of you may be asking...(since I am not so good at relaying all the details)... Well, the dossier is a collection of documents and paperwork that you may have heard me vaguely refer to when I kept talking about all of the "paper-chasing" we were doing in the first few months of '09. Basically it consists of personal letters of reference, letters from the bank, fingerprint clearance from local law enforcement, employer verification and reference letters, a letter to the Ministry of Womens Affairs in ET stating our motivation and intent to adopt, medical letters from both Jeff's and my physician's, past years tax returns, etc, etc, as well as very important document called our Homestudy. The homestudy is a long written report that we got from our social work agency after a series of meetings and a home visit. Essentially they write a very detailed report about us, our family histories, heritage, childhoods, marriage, parenting philosphies, motivation to adopt, neighborhood, home, finances, etc, etc, ultimately giving their stamp of approval for us to adopt (as an FYI, we also had to supply our Homestudy Social Work agency with its own stack of documents/paperwork/references that are separate from the dossier paperwork).

So...this big pile of documents is what physically makes up the Dossier. Keep in mind that most of these documents, once we have collected them, have to be notarized and some even further must be state sealed by the secretary of state...it really is a bunch of crazy hoops to jump through. Essentially, this paperwork (the Dossier) is what is presented to the Ethiopian courts after they have identified a child for us, to allow us to adopt the child legally through the ET government. Actual US citizenship and formal adoption of the child in the US are a whole other story for another day....

Hope this bit of detail helps....Yeah for next steps!!!!